Monthly Archives: November 2007



Tina Fey puts her mysteriously scarred mouth and ass on the line like a normal anonymous blue-collar writer.

If your head’s been completely up your ass for the last week then you are one of the unfortunate few who haven’t heard that the Writer’s Guild of America is now on strike. What this means, ultimately, is that aside from sports and shitty reality TV programming, there isnt going to be anything original on TV, and if it drags on long enough, no new movies either. In some ways this could be seen positively, as it could give some big breaks to aspiring writers who dont have the pleasure of being part of the Writer’s Guild, and have a script they’ve just been dying to get in some studio stiff’s greasy hands. But other than that positive, there’s every good reason for this strike. In fact, more than 21 so-called “entertainment” blogs are now blacking themselves out to show solidarity with this overlooked and under-appreciated segment of the production machine.

Writers are easily the most disrespected artists in the entertainment industry. This is due in part (I can only guess) to the fact that writing is so far from flashy and is done alone, much like masturbation and suicide. I’ve heard a lot of people deride this strike as the writers just being greedy and cant they just get their lazy overpayed asses back to their darkened rooms and hunch over their nicotine-stained keyboards so we can see new episodes of any of the 4 or 5 Law& Order spin-offs. Truth is, the writers of all this entertainment that’s been rotting your brain for the past 50+ years have been getting shafted for pretty much the duration of the history of writing for popular media. And as this new show standstill will make perfectly clear, though the writers are strictly behind the scenes most of the time, none of the shows you like to watch (yes, including Family Guy) are possible without those witty writers pecking away at keys for days on end. They are quite possibly THE most essential part of the entire process. And yet they’ve been getting royally screwed for years. It’s time for some payback. Here’s the breakdown:


Of course, there’s always a flipside to all of this. Looked at from another perspective, this could be seen as the equivalent of a power blackout, where the family gets together by candlelight and breaks out the age-old techniques of boardgames and having conversations. Because no matter how great we writers are, none of what we right is actually real, as explained beautifully by screenwriter extraordinaire, Paddy Chayefsky in his timeless 1976 film NETWORK:

So think about both sides of the coin and try to find a happy medium. And for God’s sake, try to improve on the dismal 3% of Americans that read books on a regular basis, a figure that’s probably even lower now seeing as this film is 30 years old. But mainly let the powerhouse entertainment corporations know that you’re mad as hell and you arent going to take it anymore. Give these writers their fair share!

NOW….onto porn!

Feminists and Christian and Muslim fundamentalists around the world are reeling after the Stanford Law School demonstrated empyrical evidence showing that the faster an area gets access to the internet (and therefore a never-ending supply of free porn), the faster instances of rape have declined. “A 10 percent increase in Internet access, Kendall found, typically meant a 7.3 percent reduction in the number of reported rapes. For other types of crime, he found no correlation with Web use. What this research suggests is that sexual urges play a big role in the incidence of rape — and that pornographic Web sites provide a harmless way for potential predators to satisfy those desires.” So stick that in your pipe and smoke it in the most phallic way possible, porn haters. Porn, despite all the self-righteous haymaking by Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and other “upstanding” members of the extreme religious right, is actually beneficial to mankind. *Side note*: Isnt it interesting that such extremes in political and cultural views, the far right and the far left, can agree on something of this or ANY nature? Just goes to prove the theory that the more extreme one gets, the closer it comes to its opposite extreme.

And this is funny too, an actual Craigslist posting.

And now, finally, I present to you the most amazing closing I have ever seen to a football game. I’m pretty sure this just happened over the past weekend because I surely would have heard about it before now. Even if you dont like football you’ll definitely appreciate this. It’s just amazing.

 Blew your mind, didnt it, even more than that time when the team ran the ball all the way back with no time on the clock and the player had to run through the opposing team’s band that had already run onto the field to prematurely celebrate their losing team’s victory.


Hope you enjoy the new site. This site contains every single blog post I put up since trying to get futureproof recognized by readers and publishers back in October of 2005. It really has been an amazing journey. And the best is yet to come. You’ll see improvements popping up over the next few weeks. Its a work in progress. In the meantime, enjoy, and spread the word.

 Talk soon.







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